Mayhem
by Faelyrus
Summary: Anakin & Obi-wan...stranded on Earth! A space mission gone awry leads to unexpected conclusions. Yaoi further ahead in the story. Slash.


**Mayhem **

Being an elf was the worst job you could get come Christmas. The streets outside Macy's were flooded with shoppers who couldn't get in. Macy's, the biggest deparmental store this far in the ass of America. In fact, Anakin had no idea where he was anyway. That didn't matter, all that mattered was to return home as soon as possible, relaxing with a cup of coffee, perhaps, and watch CSI: Miami. I could get used to this, thought Anakin. Actually, life on this planet was pretty sweet. There wasn't any need for lightsaber action, or ugly outlaws to hunt. There was just him and Obi-wan.

Obi-wan. Ugh.

Anakin rang his handbell furiously, the scratchy lime-green elf costume prickling his sensitive skin. They had another fight this morning, over breakfast. He couldn't even remember what they were talking about. Whatever. It was making him hot just remembering his Master, and furiously, he gave an undeserving glare to a couple of on-lookers. Fuck, this world could just go and die. Burn in hell. A red sportscar sped by on the road. Anakin snorted. Back on corsucant...

"Counter duty Anakin! Get your ass back in here! We're swamped!" A ruddy-faced fat man wearing a suit shouted at him from the doors of Macy's. The Christmas eve shoppers were positively shoving him out of existence.

"Stay in your zone miss!" he shouted, progressively redder by the moment as he shoved a heavyset woman aside. "Hurry the fuck up Anakin!"

Anakin sighed. Another 1.5 hours of playing cashier to imaptient parents and snotty brats. Lovely.

Oh my God. This is bloody cold.

Obi-wan rubbed his gloved hands together and breathed on them. A snowflake had landed on his cheek and it burned hotly, its ice-cold touch sending shivers all through his spine. Obi-wan hopped around, trying to restore the circulation in his body. Brrrrrr. He wished there was a guardpost constructed for him. Damn, he wished he hadn't taken the job in the first place.

He first saw it one morning in the Daily Post. The ad had screamed: "Guard duty. Price negotiable. Standard hours." It seemed friendly enough. Actually, he had taken it because of the location. The Zoo. Unfortunatlely, they had forgotten to mention that it was the laborotories in the Zoo that needed guarding and not the animals themselves. They already had a patrol guard, a middle aged portbellied guy named Phil, who Obi-wan had coffee now and then with. The labs were located some way off the main zoological gardens, thus Obi-wan had not chanced upon them. Working such late hours meant most of them were asleep anyway.

Bloody hell. It is getting colder by the second. Ahead, a single solitary lamplight cast a pool of yellow glow onto the frosty road. The road, which had been radiating heat off the ground a few months back was now dusted with white snow, a winter wonderland. Suddenly, a noise sounded loudly.

The unmistakable Nokia ringtone rang for miles. Darn this thing, Obi-wan cursed silently. It had been several weeks since he had got this contraption, at Anakin's insistence. Fumbling with it as it hopped and vibrated incessently in his grip, he managed to hit answer.

"Hello?"

Anakin's voice was crystal and sharp in the night air. Whoops. Hit the speaker button. How do I turn it back? Thought Obi-wan.

"Hello? Old man? You there?"

A twitch of annoyance took hold of Obi-wan as he shouted into the phone.

"I am here, Anakin. And I'd prefer if you would call me by the proper term 'Master'."

"Had to check whether you were still alive in this cold, Master." The last word was pronounced grudgingly, traced with Anakin's pride.

"How caring of you, Padawan." Apparently, Anakin wasn't the only one who had not forgotten about this morning's fight. Obi-wan had but fleetingly brought up the topic of repairing the spaceship and returning home, but Anakin had acted as the unreasonable mule he was, banging his fists on the table and calling him selfish. What impudence.

"So, how's security duty?"

"Pretty fun I'm sure. Look, did you just call to mock me? Because I have to remind you, being an elf is not that much further down the line."

"Ooh, touche. I just knocked off. How about you?"

"Well, in 20 minutes. Please tell me that you remembered to record the latest episode of CSI."

"Ha, I have a better memory than you, Master."

"Want me to get you anything from the deli? I could pick them up on the way home."

"Nah it's okay. Say, do you think you can knock off earlier today?"

"Like when?"

"Like now."

Anakin had stepped into the lamplight, grinning, his brown toussled hair framing his face under the green hood of his jacket. His blue denim had snowflakes on them, and he brushed them off before walking towards his master.

"This is a surprise." Obi-wan arched his eyebrows. "What's the occassion?"

"Well, I thought you might like to watch CSI a bit earlier today. And to make up for this morning. I'm sorry." Anakin's green eyes were deep pools of regret. Obi-wan snorted. His padawan was good at lying.

"You cheeky brat."

"Well? Would you like to go, Monsieur?"

"I guess the labs would be fine without my surpervison." Obi-wan looked sheepish.

"Great! Let's go. I have one question though. How come you didn't sense me through the Force?"

"Who said I didn't?"


End file.
